Marveling at the Young Woman She Has Become

Couches and fireplace.  That is our criteria on this cold, unusually drizzly winter Saturday afternoon in Johannesburg as we decide which coffee shop to cozy up in for our delicious women time.    I am with my beloved heart friends, Zed and Tanya, and my 9 year-old daughter, Quince, in tow.     

Lucky Bean in Melville wins.  We order lattes and cappuccinos, extra hot.  Zed huddles by the fire, Quince and Tanya on the couch, me in the comfy chair.  We relax into ourselves and into each other’s company.  I start us off and ask for some input into the new title for my blog (I really am a one-trick pony these days.)  Tanya and Zed listen, ask questions.  Quince is occupied, writing in her book, working on her own blog.

Suddenly – I didn’t even know she was listening - she pops her head up and offers her idea for what my blog should be called.     We three grown-up women listen fully, letting her know by our attention that she is someone worth listening to, her ideas matter, consciously nurturing her 9 year-old girl confidence.  This is not new.   I have watched my friends before give my young girl this gift of adult respectful attention and I am grateful to them for that.

However, this time there is something new.  For me, anyway.  Quince is 9.  Her ideas don’t always make that much sense or aren’t necessarily all that well formulated.   But this time her idea is interesting, thoughtful and she explains it well.  So as she is talking and we are listening, I am moved.  Moved enough for my eyes to well up with tears.  I am moved because I get a little glimpse of a future with an older Quince.  A Quince who is no longer a girl, no longer just a daughter-in-tow, but a young woman, holding her own in these conversations. 

I watched this happen with my niece, now 25.  A slow, gradual, almost magical shift.   A shift from the days when we waited till she left the room to discuss the hard things, to today where she is invited in, her opinions sought, valued. 

I love my time with my girl now. But I am also really looking forward to this magical shift, to being with her amongst other women, listening to her, marveling at the young woman she has become.