The reason I am focusing on my beautiful girl in these past couple of posts is that she and I have had a wonderful 5 days on our own. Bill, as mentioned in a previous post, fled to Kenya when the power went out, and Alexander is on the Pridwin Grade 6 School tour to Mpumalanga.
Quince has bought herself two books in the past week - both of which I made her use her own allowance for as they went against my feminist and atheistic morals (I once had a great discussion with a Christian colleague about how an atheist could have morals when not guided by a religion- another story).
The first book is a big-ol' Barbie fairytale book. Just as awful as it sounds. Skinny, white, long-blond haired girl fairies marrying princes, evil stepmothers and sisters and other predictably bad messages.
The second was from the Catholic book sale at her school - One Minute Devotions for Girls - I think she was bit seduced by the pretty pink cover and pocket size. Full on little lessons about loving God (fine), trusting God (okay, fine) and chasing away the devil (not fine). She reads them to me in the car. I can barely stand it but who am I to thwart my darling's attempts to figure out how she wants to engage with religion. I personally prefer her worshiping of the Greek Gods. Just two days ago, she asked me if I wanted some blessed water- which I agreed to since it had been blessed by Athena - her favorite Greek Goddess. (this was right before she began meditating - see photo in post below)
Given her recent bombardment of messages about a girl's happiness coming through marrying princes (Barbie Book, Ella Enchanted, and the school play, Cinderella, all in the space of 5 days) I thought a conversation about what really makes one happy was in order. Her response, a job which pays well, finding a husband (like Daddy - she said - sweet) and having kids.
First, I tackled the job which pays well part - you know, more important that you find work you love, blah, blah, blah. "Quince, what kind of job do you think you would love?" "I think I would like being a secretary and filling in forms." I reminded myself there is nothing wrong with being a secretary but not what I imagined for my girl who is a star at math, has always up until yesterday said she wanted to be a vet, and is one of the most creative people I know. "Hmmm," I said, "What about being the boss?" "I don't want to be the boss - then I'd have to share all my money. If I am a secretary I get to keep all my salary.'' Quick correction on the error in that thinking and then in for the crux of the matter. "Quince, what do you think a boy would want to be - the secretary or the boss?" "The boss." Jesus help me. I know the next logical step was to explore her thinking around that a bit, but I was too shocked at how at 8 1/2 she has already been indoctrinated with such gendered thinking about work. I'll have to come back to this one with her.
I then, very incompetently, attempted to tackle the husband and kids part. Nothing wrong with husband and kids mind you - and yes, they can be a great source of happiness. But I got a little worried when she referred to her future husband as her prince -- maybe I am just too jaded in my middle age and should leave her to her fantasies. Thoughts?
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