I wrote the following during early days in our puppy ownership. I have been so struck by how similar my experience and the resulting feelings are to the ones I had during early days of parenting new babies. Overwhelmed, smitten, resentful, shocked, totally incompetent, proudly competent. Below are a few that I captured as I was experiencing them. The good news is that two weeks in, unlike with new human babies, most of these feelings have mellowed as I get the hang of this puppy raising thing.
1) Especially in the beginning, it all seems so ridiculously overwhelming and like such a bad idea. We jumped into this project without a clue what we were getting ourselves into. I recognize this feeling -- I've been here before. It is the feeling one has when you embark on a brand new venture and you are at the bottom of the learning curve - only from this early vantage point, there is no gently sloping curve in sight. It is all a long, unforgiving line, straight up.
2) As I am getting ready for bed at the end of the day, I realize I have gotten NOTHING done. Nothing that I planned on anyway. Nothing constructive that I used to get done, pre-puppy. For a person like me who gets a lot of pleasure (okay, maybe an out-of-proportion amount of pleasure) from checking off those “to do’s”, this is a very unnerving way to live one’s life.
3) By scaling aforementioned learning harsh, unforgiving straight-up line, I find myself acquiring an amazing number of new skills. Sometimes at the end of the day, the feeling of being overwhelmed is mitigated a bit by a sense of satisfaction at my mastery of these valuable life skills. De-fleaing, de-worming, knowing which kinds of food result in what kind of poop skills. All now nicely incorporated into my CV.
4) I spend way, way, way too much time thinking about poop, planning my day around poop times, looking at poop, worrying about abnormal poops. My mind has turned to poop, all clever thoughts have been pushed out. (aren't you glad I didn't feel compelled to illustrate this one with a photo?)
5) I also spend inordinate amounts of time watching my babies. Watching them play, watching them sleep,watching them chew bones. It is all extraordinarily fascinating. In a way that no one else’s puppies ever were or ever will be.
6) Suddenly, things which must have been there all along become visible to my new dog-owning eyes. Pet stores, chew toys at Pick N Pay, dogs behind every single bloody gate in our neighborhood, that insist on barking at us as we take our cowering Peppa for a walk.
7) Their stuff is all over the house – and the garden. I can’t keep order. I decide there are no systems of organization invented to manage the chaos.
7) Their stuff is all over the house – and the garden. I can’t keep order. I decide there are no systems of organization invented to manage the chaos.
8) Worry, worry, worry. Take them to the vet or just wait a few days? Future psychopath dog or just normal puppy behaviour? Crate training or not? Worry that I'm worrying too much. Worry that I'm not worrying enough.
9) Differences in spousal personalities are put in sharp relief. Suffice it to say, I am high strung, Bill is low strung.
10) I find myself tip-toeing around when they are napping not for their sake but for my own.
11) I am so so so happy to leave them behind and get a break. I am moderately happy to come back and see their smiling little puppy faces. (just kidding – of course, I am so so so happy to come back to them.)
12) I am awed by the brilliance of mother nature in making them so darned adorable so that no matter how naughty they are I won’t kill them. Doubling that cuteness when they are sleeping and at their most vulnerable is sheer mother nature genius.
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